Cups & Curiosity

If I could sit down with my 20-year-old self over a cup of coffee, I know exactly what I would say.

You are not behind.

I know it feels like everyone around you has a plan. Some are graduating, some are getting engaged, some are starting careers, and some seem to have their entire lives mapped out. Meanwhile, you’re standing at a crossroads, wondering why everyone else got a roadmap and you didn’t.

But here’s the secret no one tells you: most people are figuring it out as they go.

At 20, I spent so much time comparing my timeline to everyone else’s. Every milestone I hadn’t reached felt like proof that I was failing. Every success someone else achieved felt like another reminder that I was somehow falling behind.

I wish I had known that life isn’t a race.

Some people find their path at 18. Others find it at 28, 38, or even later. The timing doesn’t make the accomplishment any less meaningful.

At 22, I dropped out of college, with a useless Associate’s degree and a partially completed Bachelor’s degree, with absolutely no clue what I wanted to do with my life. If you had told me then that one day I would earn a bachelor’s degree from a top university, I would have laughed. Not because I didn’t want it, but because I couldn’t imagine how I would ever get there.

The road wasn’t straight.

There were years of working, growing, making mistakes, and trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted. There were moments when going back to school felt impossible. Moments when I questioned whether I was capable of finishing what I had started.

But step by step, I kept moving forward.

At the age of 28, I returned to school online while working full time. There were long nights spent studying after work, weekends dedicated to assignments, and more cups of coffee than I can count. It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t easy. But I kept showing up.

And eventually, all those small efforts added up to something I once thought was out of reach.

A bachelor’s degree. Last month, at the age of 30, I FINALLY walked across the stage to receive my diploma. It was the proudest moment of my life.

Not because I was smarter than anyone else. Not because I had everything figured out. But because I kept going.

That’s what I wish my younger self understood: your direction doesn’t have to reveal itself all at once. Sometimes life unfolds one small step at a time. Sometimes the detours become the path.

The years you spend feeling lost are not wasted years. They’re teaching you resilience, patience, and perspective. They’re helping you become the person you’ll need to be when the opportunities finally arrive.

So if you’re in a season where it feels like everyone else is moving forward while you’re standing still, please hear this:

Keep going.

Your story doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s.

Your timeline is allowed to be different.

And just because you can’t see where you’re headed yet doesn’t mean you’re not on your way.

One day, you’ll look back and realize that every twist, setback, and unexpected turn led you exactly where you needed to be.

And when that day comes, you’ll be so glad you didn’t give up.

Journal Prompt: Have you ever looked back on a chapter of your life that felt like a setback at the time, but ultimately led you somewhere better? Write about the lessons that experience taught you.